Do you really need another one of these to be convinced that an intimate wash is a must have in your bathroom product arsenal? Come on man, just buy one already, your special lady friend will thank you later.

If you’re new here, welcome. You’re entering the bizarre, yet important world of grooming products, hair serums, intimate washes and face masks. Strap yourselves in, it’s going to be a wild one.

For the untrained, the uninitiated, the naïve and the normal, don’t be to overwhelmed by the powerful nature of what you're about to read. Do some light reading first. Read on about the how and the why of intimate washes before you scroll on down.

We’re talking advantages. What upper hand will you gain over your next door neighbour or eternal rival by using an intimate wash?

Long Term Health

I know. This is riveting stuff, right? Long term health! Wow. What twenty something, live fast, die young, go with the flow, daredevil isn't thinking about long-term health? I’m personally thinking about straddling the leather seats of an Enfield and taking off into the sunset with no thought about what lies ahead.

But hold your figurative horses, friend. Because you and I both know that the reality of our situation is that instead of taking the winding road of the mountain and channeling our inner Ulysses (that’s Latin for Odysseus, by the way), we’re stuck behind the screen of our laptop (former name – Computer). This obviously means that the excitement in our life is reserved for the more mundane things like online shopping, mediocre dinners, and the occasional civil gathering.

But that’s okay.

Life’s short, but there will undoubtedly be time for every adventure you dreamt about when you were a kid, if you’re smart about it. 

There’s the connecting dot I was looking for – how will you embark on your brave Odyssey if you’re riddled with long-term health problems?

Well if you use an intimate wash, at least you’re taking care of a man’s most important cargo. So get on that before it’s too late. Don’t let the 5 year old in you lose sight of his vision.

Consistently Cool

I’m not talking about feeling like you’re an absolute boss. You know the feeling: it’s that wave of confidence you get every time you put on your “CrayFan” shades (wink, wink), your tight white tee and those cool new kicks and strut about town.

I’m referring to that literal feeling of cool that you experience after a nice cold shower. Imagine being a puppy witnessing, playing, frolicking in its first snow. Awww, adorable, right? Now imagine that, in your pants.

Yes, gentlemen, your genitals will feel like a puppy enjoying the snow for eternity if you consistently use an intimate wash. It’s a feeling that just can’t be beat. You know that feeling you get after your done being intimate with your significant other? You’ll be that, all day everyday. So get on it…NOW.

Balanced Skin

I know, I’ve saved the big gun for last.

You're really a stubborn b****** if you still need convincing. Hats off to you, your wife’s a lucky woman.

I’m not going to bore you with another analogy. If you made it this far, you’re looking for the real thing. Something strong, something hard, something you can poke your opponent to death with, figuratively speaking, of course.

Intimate washes’ greatest utility lies in balancing out your skin. The pH balance of your genital area is significantly different than the rest of your body, and so for it to reach it’s optimal level, you need to be using a product that allows for that.

Intimate washes allow that, plain and simple. If you’re still not convinced, there’s little hope for you friend, so I’ll take my leave.

Boy, I don’t know about you, but I’m exhausted from all the knowledge I’ve accumulated today, aren’t you? See you next week…

Here’s something for you to browse through when you're in bed after a long day at work - https://www.spruceshaveclub.com/collections